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i can't do this anymore !

wowww.

been more than 2 years since i've been on this. felt like writing down how i feel right now. and this is the safest way to do it at. since rarely anyone reads this ish anymore.

i`ve been wanting to get away lately. specifically london. a semester would be incredible there. just me, there. new place new people new experiences. i feel like i`m stuck. like i need to get away to find myself, and why not do it in a city that i adore ? london, the culture, the architecture, the ambiance, the history. (and it`s a plus that they have a sexy accent) besides that, you can hop on a train and be at another country. the history that they have there, its so .. breath-taking. i know they are so modernized but they still preserve their history. i`m in love with it. i think watching becoming jane and reading jane austen novels ignited the spark i had for this amazing city. gahhh. i would loveee so much to be there. i feel like that`s the right thing for me right now. i just need to be alone and independent right now.

the only motivation i have right now is my desire to graduate and be a nurse.

maybe then i can go to london. instead of a useless new car, i could ask my parents for a very long stay in london. just me. no parents. no anyone. just me. my own adventure.

i`m also afraid of not getting into APU. i`m so scared yet so determined and so passionate about wanting to be a nurse.

i don`t know. i guess for now i just have to deal with my life here.

hopefully when i blog again in about 2 years, i`ll be writing from london.

so when i got home. i wasn`t sleepy yet. so i watched 'who`s the boss?' on nick@night <mailto:nick@night>. haha. old school stuff. but yeahh.

so alyssa milano plays the girl. this show was like in her teen years. hah. and there`s this boy. he`s freakin` cocky. a know it all. and she was gettin` pissed and irritated.

OOHHHHH MY GAHHH. that`s so me and him. [especially the jerk part. hah.] arghhhhh. whyyyy ?!!!. why did it ever happen ?. why did we ever see each other again since 4th grade ?. why did he have to remember me ?. why did i talk to him ?. why did it end up like this ?. why didn`t i do anything that would`ve made it different ?. too many questions left unanswered. =/

i guess i just miss things .. "we left so many words uspoken." [brian mcknight. someday someway somehow.] [eeeek !. this was from brian mcknight`s album U turn. errr. on of the cd`s a borrowed from him. =/.]

anywayyy .. pictures !. from last night.

there`s a storyline to this .. smile !. wowww it`s a bowling ball. xtine look !. then she goes whaawww !. ahaahahahaaahh.

hooyeah !.

haha. robeeeen and i !. best friendsss. `fosho.

my lovers. chyeah. you know you love us.

ahaahahahahah. friggin` erik.

boom chicka boom boom      boom boom. aahahahahaha. shake yerr boootays tina. jus. robyn. alain. and jayy !. hahaha. our loitering moments.

`yahh know.

chyeahh. representin` OFF VIBE !. best band. playin` at the roxy. aug. 5th. more info on www.myspace.com/offvibe.